Pump your breaks kid...

How do some people feel that it is okay to continually act high and mighty?? I am sick and tired of being talked to like a two year old by someone who really is stepping out of line on a daily basis. I can take teasing (get ready b/c I dish it out too!), but don't talk to me like you have every answer to all of my questions. Riddle me this...why are you such a tool? Ok...that was a little harsh, but I know that I have backup on it. I know what I am doing...no need to question my every step. How does it feel when I do it?? I can see the wheels turning with questionable comebacks...bring it on! Tooting my own horn time...I can insult (seriously or jokingly) with the best of them...zingers will be flying out of my mouth faster than tequila shots being drank in Mexico.

Karma...Ain't it a bitch!

I really should not wish ill will on anyone...but sometimes I cannot help myself. The tool from South Carolina who cut me off, slammed on his brakes and gave me the finger was pulled over by a good ole boy in a black & white less than 2 minutes later. The crazy pit bull lady in my neighborhood who runs with her dog's leash around HER neck jogging smack in to a parked Explorer after yelling at me for looking scared at her dog running freely 25 yards away from her. Don't get me wrong, I have had my fair share of moments where I know I was being "paid back" for a wrongdoing or evil thought. I am by no means perfect. This knowledge does not stop me from getting more than the teeniest, tiniest bit of pleasure out of the fact that I am pretty damned happy with my life right now, while the jerks of the world get what is coming to them. Yes, I wish I had Elle McPherson's legs (as I am sure Shane does too) and a house that was paid off (again, I am pretty sure Shane would not mind that either...), but other than that, I truly have no complaints.

Time for a brag session:

1. Husband who loves me
2. Two freaking adorable daughters
3. Health
4. Roof over my head
5. Both of us are gainfully employed
6. Great family
7. Fantastic friends
8. I still have all of my teeth, hair & limbs
9. I am within 6 pounds of being lighter than I have been in 5 years!
10. A new deck that can be seen from space
11. Cute purple shoes that do not hurt my feet....That in itself is reason to celebrate!
12. 82 degrees in February...puff clouds and blue skies

I am definitely tempting fate with that last one. I need to stop there. I really must have paid some dues over the past decade to deserve everything I mentioned and everything I haven't. I need to start being more grateful for everything I have. So if you hear me bitching about the dog peeing on the carpet (which needs to get replaced anyways), or about how my ass seriously needs to stop muffin-topping out of the back of my jeans, or about how I want to go postal at the Estes headquarters, or about anything else...remind me that my life could be a lot worse...at least my picture is not being passed for a Redneck woman mugshot (that one is for Dana, LaRae, & Shanna--God Bless 4-wheeling!!).

Seeing as I am a "good" Catholic girl...

...I am still debating what to give up for Lent. The usual suspects are rearing their ugly heads...dessert/alcohol/fast food/fried foods...but seeing as the hardcore dieting ends on Monday, I will be partaking in some, if not all, of them Monday for lunch. I love to curse and NEED to give it up, but because I get into a vehicle multiple times a day in Austin traffic, cursing is not going away either. So what will it be?? HELP! I have about 15 hours to figure it out.

P.S. I am not in that picture...just thought it was entertaining....

6.3 to go...

Okay...so I lost about 2.5 from last week, but I have 6.3 to go for the next 6 days...can it be done?? Probably not healthily (sp?). I really want/need/desire to win this damned contest and am craving red meat, cheese, dessert (warm cookies in particular), and an alcoholic beverage. If I win...this WILL be my meal on Monday night...

I am the one under the red banner...

3rd place is okay, but it is still the 2nd loser...

I am pretty pissed...I gained 1.4 this week and have lost my 2 week reign at the top. I did not spulrge like crazy and am pretty confused. I knew I would plateau...but I was kind of blindsided by the gain. I have just under 2 weeks to go and I need to get going. The weight needs to come off.

Yawn...

I am tired and lacking motivation. That is all.

Baggy pants

So now that I have lost 13 pounds, I am running into a slight dihlemma. My pants are a) getting too baggy & b) getting too long as a result of sitting lower and lower on my hips. My favorite pants were drenched about 3 inches up the leg this morning b/c of the dragging issue. Not cool. The only thing I hate more than wet hemlines is wet socks...don't even get me started! So...if, I mean, when I win the $$, I will have to invest about $70 of it getting my favorite clothes to where I need them to fit on my body...which kind of pisses me off. Oh well...maybe I will just buy new clothes. :)

Total weight loss: 13 pounds

Milestone...

I reached 400+ calories burned at lunch. Usually, it is around 340-375, but today, LaRae and I kicked ass and took names. WOO-HOO!! It may not sound like a lot to some, but this is a big deal for me. Now I want to go VanDamme someone. Any volunteers??

I love the fact that even though towards the end, I was convinced I was going to die, I kept churning my legs. I am infatuated with my endurance levels now...I AM A MACHINE.

**Side note: I had not the burger dream last night...this time it was Panda Express' lo mein & orange chicken dream. I need to stop dreaming about food...I am turning over a new leaf. Any suggestions for dream ideas? :)

Laughter

I think it is my unheralded mission in life to make people laugh. Not in the "look at me, praise me, open-mic" way, but just by being silly and quick on my feet. I seriously enjoy hearing the laughter that I cause. It is like a natural high. I can be goofy or completely deadpan sarcastic...but cheesily, half the time I make myself giggle too. Now I know you should not laugh at your own jokes (Carlos Mencia), but sometimes I can't help it. I like to laugh too. Nothing is better than getting a friend who was about to meltdown in front of you to render limp with laughter. So you better watch out, LaRae...your ass is going to fall off of the elliptical tomorrow!!

OUCH!!!

My pants are tight on my waist. But this is a good thing. They are the medium size of the three sizes haunting my closet right now. I could not wear these at Christmas time. My workouts and lack of wonderfully dreamy burgers are working. But I feel fatter today b/c my waistband is digging in. Every bite of an almond hurt. I keep telling myself that they are smaller, but I just feel bigger in them. I need to keep chugging and lose 5 more so I won't feel like a stuffed sausage.

Total weight loss: 10 pounds (1st for now in the contest!)

Don't be a boob...

After two pregnancies and two kids, my body is out of whack. Now, I don't look like some freaky before picture on a plastic surgery website, but it is just not where it was about 5 years ago. So...Shanna and I decided to kill time on the surgery websites. Some of the results were all cock-eyed, some looked decent, and some looked like porn star rejects. And who comes strolling into our room just as I claim "these are the ones I want!"? The plotter dude...looking stunned at the images on my monitor. I just about died laughing and Shanna was having a hard time keeping a straight face while talking about ink heads.

As much as I wish I had still had the set that existed before kiddos, part of me is still a big ass chicken. Could I go through it?? What if they turned out to be too big?? Too little?? Off center?? Don't even get me started on cross-eyed or the dreaded lazy eye! If I could ensure perfection, I would sign up tomorrow...no questions asked. But there are no guarantees. Just some joker shoving a potentially lethal hacky sack into my chest cavity.

But...I still want them...